“Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy” and “Games People Play” by Eric BERNE

Anne BURNIAUX, HR Consultant and Owner of Sensink, advised me to read “Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy”.

As you may have guessed by reading its title, this book does not exactly focus on management or human resources. And let's admit it: maybe it's not the book you want to read on the beach next summer! Nevertheless, it is so insightful that every manager should read it, even if it requires a certain amount of effort and concentration. 

Eric BERNE, an American psychiatrist (1910-1970), tells us some clinical cases and explains his theory, called structural analysis and transactional analysis.

To state it very simply (my apologies to any rigorous specialist who might read this), BERNE thinks that the way we think and act depends on which “ego state” we find ourselves currently in:

• The Child reproduces emotions and behaviors that we really experienced during our childhood. It makes us act “instinctively” and with charm, be creative, and seek pleasure.
• The Parent focuses on morality, telling us whats is good or wrong like our father and mother did.
• The Adult is rational and exerts social control.

So for example, if you see an enormous cake, your Child might tell you to eat it all, your Parent might make you feel ashamed and your Adult might tell you to eat just one piece so you don't get sick.

BERNE thinks that in our relationships, we spend most of the time using “Pastimes” and playing “Games”. A typical Pastime is talking about the weather: it's a way to avoid entering a meaningful relationship with someone. A Pastime becomes a Game when the transactions cease to be straightforward, when there is dissimulation. A Script is a little bit like a Game, but it is more complex and influences the way we live our life on the long term.

BERNE used to teach these basic concepts to his patients. Using individual interviews but also therapeutic groups, he tried to help their Adult understand their pathology and take control of the situation.

I found it so interesting that I decided to read another famous book by the same author: “Games People Play – The Psychology of Human Relationships”. The two are quite complementary, as the first draws the general theory and the second illustrates it, by offering a thesaurus a common “games”.

BERNE describes various types of games: life games, marital games, party games, sexual games, underworld games, consulting room games and good games.

How Are These Books Useful to an HR Professional?

Such books should definitely be used with caution. Reading a few hundred pages about psychotherapy won't make you a psychiatrist. Mastering transactional analysis theories and techniques requires proper education and experience.

Nevertheless, as an HR professional I am glad to have become familiar with Berne’s concepts, mainly for two reasons:

1. Transactional Analysis is used by many coaches and HR consultants. If I get to work with one of them, I want to know what they are talking about.
2. It provides a conceptual framework that helps me understand some situations. A colleague of mine has been adopting a behavior that made me feel bad and seemed irrational. I have now understood that when she does that, it is her Child that is in control and that she is playing a game. It has helped me handle the situation and avoid being manipulated.

More generally, BERNE provides us a framework to understand human relationships, which are the fundamental elements of our discipline.

References

• Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy
• By Eric BERNE
• Snowball Publishing (or Condor Books)
• 270 pages
• Available on Amazon: Transactional Analysis in Psychotherapy (Condor Books)
  

• Games People Play – The Psychology of Human Relationships
• By Eric BERNE
• Penguin Books
• 173 pages
• Available on Amazon: Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis.
  
  

To learn more about Eric BERNE and watch two nice videos in which he talks about games and transactional analysis, you can visit http://www.ericberne.com/

The 4-Hour Workweek, by Timothy FERRIS

François TOMAS, Senior HR Consultant at Hudson, told me this book is useful to HR professionals because it shows us, in a quite radical manner, how the Y generation considers works, life and mobility.

So I bought the book and read, on top of its cover, a quote of Stewart FRIEDMAN, of whom I am a big fan, saying « This is a whole new ball game. Highly recommended ». Like FRIEDMAN's Total Leadership (commented in a previous post), this « 4-Hour Workweek » has the potential to transform the way you manage yourself.

Their style is different, though: while FRIEDMAN is a very wise professional, an accomplished scientist, I would rather call FERRIS a smart guy.

Very smart indeed, as he tells the readers all the tricks he has used to work less (much less), earn more (much more) and live his dreams. How do you make money while sipping a cocktail on a Brazilian beach?

Tim FERRIS calls his field "lifestyle design" and his method “DEAL”, as in:

• Define: identify your ideal lifestyle, your most important dreams, and the revenue you need to generate to accomplish them.

• Eliminate: PARETO's law says that 20% of your efforts yield 80% of your results. So if you are clever enough to identify the right 20%, maybe you can afford working five times less and still keep 80% of your revenue. Virtually eliminating meetings, reducing email processing to a few hours a week, delegating administrative tasks to a cheap Indian virtual assistant are other tricks to save a lot of time.

• Automate: FERRIS shows how to set up a business process that requires a very minimal level of intervention from its owner: set it up, check once a week the indicators and answer a few questions by your subcontractors, then let the money flow.

• Liberate: FERRIS tells you, among many other things, how to have your boss authorize you to work from home, even when, eventually, your home gets to be at the other end of the globe because you have always dreamed of learning tango in Buenos Aires or martial arts in Korea.

How Is This Book Useful to an HR Professional?

I see three ways an HR Manager could use this book:

1. As François told me, it helps you understand some fascinating trends about the Y-generation and the future of work: mobility, independence (even boldness), a sense of meaningful purpose, etc.
   
   
2. You can become a more productive professional by using some of FERRIS' tricks and tools about time management, process-design, or e-marketing. You'll find other tricks useful for your private live, especially those about traveling.
   
   
3. You can take the book on the first degree and really try to design your lifestyle so to work less and live like a millionaire.

Personally, I chose option 1 first and I am currently contemplating options 2 and 3... Don't tell my boss! ;-)

References

• The 4-Hour Workweek (2009 expanded and updated edition)
• By Timothy FERRIS
• Crown Publishers
• 376 pages
• Available on Amazon: The 4-Hour Workweek, Expanded and Updated, With Over 100 New Pages of Cutting-Edge Content.
• Tim Ferris also runs the 4-hour blog
  
  

EGOnomics, by David MARCUM and Steven SMITH

This book was recommended to me by Suzanne LUCAS, the great HR blogger also known as The Evil HR Lady. You can follow Suzanne on http://evilhrlady.blogspot.com/


The Power, and Danger, of Ego

For MARCUM and SMITH, ego affects the bottom line of any organization, because it is both an asset and a liability: it gives us confidence to use our strengths, but also turns them into weaknesses.

Four early warning signs help us notice when ego starts to have a negative impact:

1. Being comparative: when we can't stop comparing ourselves to competitors, giving up our potential in the name of becoming better than someone else.
   
2. Being defensive: when, instead of openly debating to cover every angle of a debate before we make a decision, we defend our positions as if we're defending who we are.
   
3. Showcasing brilliance: when we try to make our talent the center of attention, instead of using collective intelligence, which is much more powerful.
   
4. Seeking acceptance: when we become oversensitive to what people think of us, which keeps us from being true to ourselves.

To keep ego working like an asset rather than a liability, one should follow three basic principles:

1) Humility

Humility makes us see collective interests before our own individual ones: it is 'we, then me'. It makes us aware that nothing is perfect, so there is always one more thing we can do: that state of mind is called constructive discontent and is the key to greatness. It also makes us acknowledge that we can be knowledgeable and at the same time ignorant, strong and weak, capable and incomplete.

Humility can help us manage the level of intensity in a debate: vigorous debates require a heavy investment of humility to keep intensity productive. It keeps vigor from becoming violence, and also keeps us from being lulled into courteous but meaningless exchange.

2) Curiosity

Curiosity can be a state or a trait. The few people blessed with that trait have a rare blend of order and openness. Whatever innovation process we use and no matter what we design, the level of curiosity has a profound impact on the brilliance of the outcome. When trying to innovate or testing an idea, we can ask four questions to spark curiosity:

• What do we mean? (clarity)
• What are we seeing? (context)
• What are we assuming? (assumptions)
• What does that lead to? (consequence)

3) Veracity

Veracity is defined as the habitual pursuit of, and adherence to, truth.

Most people believe truth telling is risky. This is partly due to a common belief that dissent is disloyalty, which makes us close our mind when in fact, more often than not, there's positive intent behind a negative comment.

If we want those "above" us to hear what we have to say, we need to speak with humility. The three steps we should follow are 1) establish permission 2) make our intentions clear and 3) be candid.


How Is This Book Useful to an HR Professional?

I think we can use the insights and tools provided by MARCUM and SMITH for a variety of HR-related purposes, such as:

• Managing change and innovation
• Handling conflicts
• Making meetings and debates more productive
• Managing 'difficult' employees

References

• EGOnomics. What makes ego our greatest asset (or most expensive liability)
• By David Marcum & Steven Smith
• Pocket Books (also published by Fireside)
• 250 pages
• Available on Amazon: egonomics: What Makes Ego Our Greatest Asset (or Most Expensive Liability)
  

The Wall Street Journal Essential Guide to Management, by Alan Murray

This book was recommended to me by Sam Wilkins, Director of South Carolina's Office of Human Resources, an organization that delivers HR expertise to that state's agencies and Assembly.

Here is what Mr Wilkins wrote to me :

"The most recent book I read is 'The Wall Street Journal Essential Guide to Management' by Alan Murray.  While this book targets all managers, I think it is particularly relevant to human resources managers who are helping their agencies find the 'new normal' after the Great Recession."



A short overview of contemporary management thought

Alan Murray, Deputy Managing Editor of The Wall Street Journal, finds himself in contact with a lot of CEOs. He asked them what management books have had the strongest influence on them. Their answers included Christensen's "The Innovator's Dilemma", Cialdini's "Influence", "Blue Ocean Strategy", by Kim and Mauborgne, "Good to Great" by Collins, "The Black Swan", by Taleb, and many, many others.

Murray's guide offers a short overview of all that management knowledge. It offers simple explanations and useful tips about twelve subjects:

• Management
• Leadership
• Motivation
• People
• Strategy
• Execution
• Teams
• Change
• Financial Literacy
• Going Global
• Ethics
• Managing Yourself

How is it useful to an HR practitioner?

Several of theses subjects, like People, Motivation, or Teams, are directly relevant to HR managers. Others, like Strategy, Financial Literacy, or Going Global, help us developing our general management knowledge and skills.

If you have read this book, please share your comments!

References

• The Wall Street Journal. Essential Guide to Management
• By Alan Murray
• HarperCollins Publishers
• 207 pages
• Available on Amazon: The Wall Street Journal Essential Guide to Management: Lasting Lessons from the Best Leadership Minds of Our Time

"Power", by Jeffrey Pfeffer

I am an INFP. If you are familiar with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator, you may know that this stands for 'idealist'.

So this book was sort of a cure to me, a great lesson of pragmatism.

Some of the advices Pfeffer gives us might seem somewhat cynical. For example:

• As long as you keep your bosses happy, performance doesn't matter that much.
• Established rules play in favor of those who already have the power. If you are in a high position, you should play by the rules and invite others to do so. If you aren't, you best interest might be to break them.
• Likability is overrated.
• The secret of leadership is the ability to play a role, to pretend, to be skilled in the theatrical arts.

I am not a person who likes this kind of ideas, but Pfeffer shows with great talent how true they are.A Professor of Organizational Behavior at Stanford, Pfeffer knows a lot about how people reach power, or lose it. This book is Machiavelli 2.0.

Building on scientific studies and empirical evidence, he shows that we have no choice but recognizing the necessity of organizational politics and tells us how to act strategically to reach a position of power.

This brilliant book is a must-read if your ambition is to become a CEO... or just to keep your job!

From an HR point of view, this book is also very useful, as it helps us identify the personal characteristics that will allow someone to become a real leader: ambition, energy, focus, self-knowledge, confidence, empathy, capacity to tolerate conflict.

References

• Power
• By Jeffrey Pfeffer (Professor of Organizational Behavior at Stanford)
• HarperCollins Publishers
• 288 pages
• Available on Amazon: Power: Why Some People Have It and Others Don't

Leading Teams. Setting the Stage for Great Performance. By J. Richard Hackman

What is it about?

Hackman used experimental data and field analysis to find out what are the main conditions that make a team effective.

He defines an effective team as one that:

1. Serves its clients well
2. Gets better and better
3. Helps each member achieve personal fulfillment

Hackman thinks that a team's performances are much too often attributed to its leader's coaching style. He finds other conditions much more relevant: it should be a real team, with a compelling direction and an enabling structure (defined in terms of design of the work, norms of conduct, composition). A supportive context (reward, information and educational systems) and expert coaching also help a lot.

The book has much scientific rigor but it is also fun to read: written with clarity an humour, full of interesting examples.


How is it useful to an HR practitioner?

We HR people tend to see a strong relationship between performance and people: we think that people's styles, traits and states of mind determine how well they perform.

This book can help us think differently about teams. Among many other things, it provides an insightful criticism about leadership programmes that seek to teach managers how to behave with their teams.

If there are any underperforming teams in your organization, reading this book will undoubtedly help you understand better what's wrong with them, and what you could do about it.


Who recommended this book to me?

Steward Friedman, author of "Total Leadership" simply told me: "I like Richard Hackman's book, Leading Teams, and I recommend it to you".



References

• Leading Teams. Setting the Stage for Great Performances
• By J. Richard HACKMAN
• Harvard Business Press
• 312 pages
• Available on Amazon: Leading Teams: Setting the Stage for Great Performances

Total Leadership. Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life. By Steward D. Friedman

What is it about?

Take the 5 to 10 people that are most important to you, in any domain of your life: your partner, your boss, your main client, your children: whoever they are. Consider them as stakeholders of your success in life. Have a conversation with each of them to talk about your future and your mutual expectations. This simple but very powerful  experience is what Steward Friedman calls "stakeholders' dialogues", a part of the Total Leadership programme.

I know: "Total Leadership programme" sounds a bit guru-ish. But it is very serious, methodical and efficient.

The book is full of examples and self-development exercises. It makes you think, but also makes you act for the sake of your own successes.

It shows that the notion of work-life balance needs to be surpassed and explains how to do it, by taking initiatives that can have simultaneously a positive effect on the four domains of your life: Work, Home (i.e. family), Community (i.e. friends and the public interest) and Self (i.e. your mental, emotional and physical fitness).

How is it useful to an HR practitioner? 

Firstly, it has the potential to change your life. Not every book does!

For example, it provides excellent tools to help you see what objectives you should define for yourself. It also helps you strengthen your relationships with those who have the greatest impact on your life.

Secondly, once you have tried the method on yourself, you will want to use it to help other people be better leaders. If some manager in your society seems overwhelmed, unhappy, misunderstood, inefficient, lacking passion, or badly evaluated, you will find in this book an excellent personal development method.

Who recommended this book to me?

I listened to an interview of Steward Friedman on Harvard Business Review's Ideacast.

References

• Total Leadership. Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life. 
• By Steward D. Friedman
• Harvard Business Press
• 248 pages
• Available on Amazon: Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life